Saturday, June 12, 2010


Several years ago, when I first enrolled in my writing classes, our instructors suggested that we should always be on the alert for unusual people and circumstances to write about.  I never considered the majority of the fodder for my writing material would be about me!

Its summertime once more - times of reminiscing of summers past.  I never cross paths with a watermelon that I am not reminded of a story…..  Some things bear repeating!

Mistakenly I thought at 54 years of age I had been stripped of any remaining pride.  WRONG!

It was going to be necessary for me to get a few items from the grocery store.  Living in a small rural town it is often necessary to shop at the well-known mega center.  Normally that would not be a problem, but for the next six weeks I would be sporting a very bulky air cast.  My husband was unavailable to drive me on this errand, but I decided to persevere.

Upon arrival, I hobbled in and claimed my motorized cart.  The very same ones I have dodged my entire shopping career.  In a hurry, and in pain, I make my final selections from the produce department.  Just as I was leaving I spied a sign that read, “PERSONAL WATERMELONS $1.98.”  I thought I knew of every personal item known to man, but never a “PERSONAL WATERMELON”.  Thrilled with my new find I proceeded to the checkout line.

The young male cashier was manning the cash register physically, but he obviously had clocked out a long time ago!  Courtesy and promptness were not his goals for the day.  He constantly turned in every direction more interested in what was taking place around him than his customers in line.  He took my freezer bags and promptly packed them “IN” with my cold foods.  As I felt my temperature rising, he took out his cell phone and checked his messages!  At that point, it was a good thing that I was not God or the store manager.

 Finally I checked out!  Limping and fuming - I awkwardly made my way to the car with my hard earned groceries, and my best buy, the “PERSONAL WATERMELON.”  The fifteen minute drive home allowed me time to cool down.

 I backed into our driveway to make it easier for my husband to bring in the groceries.  I was going to help by carrying the bag that had my latest ladies’ magazine.  When I opened the car door my “ PERSONAL WATERMELON ” (still in the mega store’s bag) rolled down out of the seat (BOINK!).  Helplessly, I watched as it rolled into the floor (BOINK!). It then rolled out the door (BOINK!) hitting the running board of my vehicle (BOINK!), and bouncing onto the pavement (BOINK!)I WAS STUNNED!  It appeared my “best buy” now had a mind of its own and was moving in slow motion.  I thought I would meet this melon head-on and easily stop it in its path. WRONG AGAIN!  I forgot about the unforgiving cast and could not bend my leg in order to make the catch.

Unbelievably, my “PERSONAL WATERMELON” was now rolling underneath my car!  Our driveway has a slight slope - just enough to propel my $1.98 bargain into the middle of our back yard!

By this time…my dry witted husband has now opened the front door.  He is looking at me with a cast on one leg, my black sparkly purse on one arm, and my magazine bag on the other bent double, laughing hysterically.  With tears running down my face I am trying to tell him where the rest of the groceries are, but all I can do is point.

We are respected business owners in our small community, live in a nice neighborhood on a street that runs through the heart of town.  He looks at the white grocery bag, with my “best buy” parked squarely in the center of our yard.  It appeared to have been placed there on purpose. Like s-o-o-o many times before, my husband just shakes his head.  With no expression whatsoever, he asks me, “Should I put on my false nose and glasses?”

Enough said about the “runaway watermelon” with the exception…my husband did ask one more question as we were heading to bed. “Should he install a basketball goal so it would be easier for me to dribble this bouncy melon?”

P.S.  The following week I bought PEACHES!






1 comment:

  1. Cathy,
    Cute personal watermelon story. What is a personal watermelon - enough for just one - how funny. I can see you and Michael now - it made me laugh. Do you post these stories once a week or when they come to you? How do I know when you have something new or do I just check it everyday. Love you - Janice Ross