Thursday, January 1, 2015

My 2014 Review

I truly love reading all of the posts regarding what each of you have learned during 2014. They are all so beautifully written, and raw with transparent emotion.

I have started my thoughts on the subject more than once… I currently have two and a half sentences written, but volumes in my heart.

I have spent the majority of this day sitting in my husband’s chair, listening to my Pandora’s worship music – with only the glow of the fireplace lighting the room, and an almost empty box of Kleenx.

The truth of the matter is… I am not sure you really have the full understanding of what you have learned until a critical experience puts demand on the need of that knowledge.

I keep saying that at my age I can’t be shocked – I have learned that is not true.

I have learned that change is inevitable – change for the better – change for the worse – it is all necessary - both, for our growth and our health.

I have learned that regardless of your age, you do not outgrow your emotions. You do not outgrow the need for God, meaningful touch, communication, safe companionship, and the need for expression of your God given talents/abilities, or the shock of betrayal.  It is during the ebb and flow of your life that you gain control - only to lose control – repeat….

I have learned you will have the opportunity to practice what you preach. The Word declares that satan comes for the word’s sake? Whatever advice you have given others, you may as well go sit on your porch and wait.

I have learned that I cannot afford to be afraid.

I have learned that I am not indispensable, and people can live without you…. and vice- versa.

I have learned there is a difference in having relatives and family. I have learned that you can still love those where the communication has been broken. Love does not have to be reciprocated.

I have learned to be quiet, and hold my peace in the face of accusation of myself and those I love.  I have learned to pray for ‘truth in the inward parts.”

I have learned that in this life - you may never see justice served. This could be God’s grace… do you really want to?

I have learned you can feel beautiful regardless of what society dictates.

I have learned you can camp out in your Comfort Zone, and possibly die a recluse.

I have learned that I have accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed!

I have learned that unfortunately, sometimes you can only learn the value of life through death.

I have learned to cherish the footprints in the carpet and the long ago sounds in the walls.

I have learned you can survive grief.

I am once again reminded of a long ago lesson…the best antidote for life is laughter.

I have experienced the ‘things’ of life growing dimmer as Christ’s love and grace for me grows brighter.

I have learned it is not important in many cases for you to know that I have spent this year weeping, praying, and rejoicing with many of you – even without your knowledge.

It is my prayer for 2015 that all the black birds of despair in your life be transformed into peacocks of renewed hope & resurrection.

t-t-f-n (ta- ta- for- now)