My 2014 Review

I truly love reading all of the posts regarding what each of you have learned during 2014. They are all so beautifully written, and raw with transparent emotion.

I have started my thoughts on the subject more than once… I currently have two and a half sentences written, but volumes in my heart.

I have spent the majority of this day sitting in my husband’s chair, listening to my Pandora’s worship music – with only the glow of the fireplace lighting the room, and an almost empty box of Kleenx.

The truth of the matter is… I am not sure you really have the full understanding of what you have learned until a critical experience puts demand on the need of that knowledge.

I keep saying that at my age I can’t be shocked – I have learned that is not true.

I have learned that change is inevitable – change for the better – change for the worse – it is all necessary - both, for our growth and our health.

I have learned that regardless of your age, you do not outgrow your emotions. You do not outgrow the need for God, meaningful touch, communication, safe companionship, and the need for expression of your God given talents/abilities, or the shock of betrayal.  It is during the ebb and flow of your life that you gain control - only to lose control – repeat….

I have learned you will have the opportunity to practice what you preach. The Word declares that satan comes for the word’s sake? Whatever advice you have given others, you may as well go sit on your porch and wait.

I have learned that I cannot afford to be afraid.

I have learned that I am not indispensable, and people can live without you…. and vice- versa.

I have learned there is a difference in having relatives and family. I have learned that you can still love those where the communication has been broken. Love does not have to be reciprocated.

I have learned to be quiet, and hold my peace in the face of accusation of myself and those I love.  I have learned to pray for ‘truth in the inward parts.”

I have learned that in this life - you may never see justice served. This could be God’s grace… do you really want to?

I have learned you can feel beautiful regardless of what society dictates.

I have learned you can camp out in your Comfort Zone, and possibly die a recluse.

I have learned that I have accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed!

I have learned that unfortunately, sometimes you can only learn the value of life through death.

I have learned to cherish the footprints in the carpet and the long ago sounds in the walls.

I have learned you can survive grief.

I am once again reminded of a long ago lesson…the best antidote for life is laughter.

I have experienced the ‘things’ of life growing dimmer as Christ’s love and grace for me grows brighter.

I have learned it is not important in many cases for you to know that I have spent this year weeping, praying, and rejoicing with many of you – even without your knowledge.

It is my prayer for 2015 that all the black birds of despair in your life be transformed into peacocks of renewed hope & resurrection.

t-t-f-n (ta- ta- for- now)

Do Not Mistake Gentleness for Weakness

As Mother’s Day 2014 approaches we mothers often consider what kind of influence our lives have had on  own children. The truth is –we may never know for sure. That is where, not only the repentance for our mistakes comes in, but also our trust and faith.

With that said… out of the prayers and questions of my own heart, I share this Mother’s Day message with you.

 Hebrews 4:15 -Amplified Bible (AMP)   For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.

The One who walked on water had to, first, go the way of man – He, too, had to learn to crawl. His mother had to instill in Him the courage to take his first steps.

 The One whose voice carried the authority of Heaven and dominion over the hordes of Hell had to, first, go the way of man - He had to learn to talk.  His mother taught him to speak his first words.

The One whose hands contained the life force of his heavenly Father had to, first, go the way of man - He had to learn to wrap his tiny fingers around his “Sippy Cup”. His mother had to wean him and teach him how to feed himself.

Who taught this child, this man, Jesus, to submit to the will of the Father regardless of the cost?
“Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19, 51). Although she did not understand everything happening in her life, she trusted God to make it all clear to her in time.

Mary was submissive to God. She counted the cost. So far as she knew: she would probably lose Joseph; she would become a social outcast; she had no idea how she would raise the Child. Yet she said without hesitation, "May it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

Who instilled the faith of God in his Son’s pure heart? Mary was a woman of faith. Part of Elizabeth's prophetic response to Mary's greeting was "blessed is she who has believed" (Luke 1:45).Where did Jesus receive the fortitude to bear such great pain for the good of us all?

Where did He, as a child, learn the spiritual discipline that would carry him through his adult life? History indicates that Mary was only twelve years old when she was engaged to Joseph and thirteen when she gave birth to Jesus.“The Child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him” (Luke 2:40). Jesus’ knowledge and wisdom would certainly be partly due to the training Mary provided during those early years. By the time Jesus was 12 years old, He was able to amaze the scholars in the temple with His ability to discuss the Word of God (Luke 2:46–47).

Where did he learn about the great powers of God?

Where did he learn to respect the anointing of ministry?

Mary said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you" (John 2:5)...

Who taught the One who could have called 10,000 angels the reality and  amazing power of angels?

It was during Elizabeth’s sixth month of pregnancy that an angel appeared to Mary, who was living in Nazareth. Although she was “betrothed,” or engaged, to Joseph, Mary was still a virgin (Luke 1:34). The angel said to her:

“Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women! . . . Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end. . . . The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God” 

Where did the Son of God walking on this earth as a simple carpenter, learn to navigate the harshness of this worldly existence?

Who taught this humble servant  of God to continue his mission,  regardless of the pain and suffering he would endure?

With every drop of blood from our Savior’s brow, , He was counting the cost of his ultimate choice. Undoubtedly, as Jesus, the man, was writhing in mental anguish in the dust of Gethsemane – his mother was home engaging in a battle of her own praying for her child. How was he able to choose God’s will over his own?

Jesus gained the strength to handle the unfathomable pain, disappointments, rejection and offenses that would be his constant companions from his gentle, blameless mother. Scripture does not define what Mary's dreams for herself and her son may have been. 

When and how did the sinless Son of God come to understand that the favor and call of God would come along with false accusations, and betrayals? Where would He muster the strength to endure for the  ultimate victory of the cross?

He was a man well acquainted with grief and sorrow –It was Jesus mother, Mary, who paved the way for his heart to survive. Luke 2:30-35

This child marks both the failure and
    the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
    the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
    as God reveals who they really are.

Who taught this perfect, Sacrificial Lamb to rise above the offenses and persecution in to fulfill the ultimate purpose of his life - to die so that we may live?

Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible (AMP) ⁶ Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO EVERY COURAGEOUS WOMAN!

           t-t-f-n- (ta-ta for now)

Lessons Learned From the Class of 2013 (Part 2)

When you have experienced a difficult year, the temptation is to cover yourself with camouflage in hopes the New Year cannot determine your whereabouts.  The truth is....that is not what you really want. Truly - HOPE does spring eternal.

Continuing on with Lessons Learned From The Class of 2013 (Part 2):

I have learned that I will NEVER stop praying for the healing of others up until the very last breath - whichever one comes first - theirs or mine.

I have learned that your hope, joy, peace can be built on none other than Christ alone.

I have learned to embrace the flawed parts of my life; body and soul.  For that is the sum total of what Christ deemed worthy to purchase with His life.

I have learned that facing my failures have not only become my credentials for ministry or the stepping stones to a different outcome for my future, but the pathway for deliverance (if heeded) for others. Jesus said those I have forgiven much - love me much and that is a fact!

Once you deal with the bitter - your capacity for the sweeter becomes enlarged.

I have learned that FEAR IS THE ULTIMATE LIAR, and offences keep you frozen in time.

I have come to terms with the fact that the "Word" is like a fire shut up in my bones!

Sadly, I have also learned that there are just some things that simply are NOT to be resurrected. There is rest in trusting God's ways are higher than our ways.

I have learned that being alone does not necessarily make you desperate or lonely.

I cherish my sense of humor as part of my heritage - along with the gray hair. The gray hair is proof positive that I survived another year. The sense of humor has served me well as a life preserver.

I have learned the true power of the blessing and covenant relationships.

I am thankful to discover that I can bring beauty and organization into chaos - I can perceive value in what others may deem worthless, broken or beyond repair.

Probably one of the biggest life lessons I have learned in this year's class...murmuring and complaining transforms the ground beneath you into quicksand.  It is then possible for you to lose your life stuck in one spot.

As I close...I was seeking the Lord as to how I should begin the New Year. Although, I had no one to kiss at the closing of the old year and the beginning of the new - I felt a surge of hope. I felt the Lord instructed me to stay up and turn on my front porch lights as if I were expecting a new friend.

HAPPY NEW YEAR & WELCOME 2014!

Lessons Learned From the Class of 2013 (Part I)

After reading others New Year's comments from what they had learned this past year, I was motivated to complete my own notes in the form of a Blog.  If for no other reason, as a measuring stick as to my own progress or lack thereof this past twelve months. So here are this year's class notes:

I do not shrink from issues that are what I judge to be battle worthy. If it is something I am passionate about, if necessary, will lead the charge knowing full well there could be a high price tag that accompanies this choice.

I am well aware that my passions often lead me to be outspoken. I also am acutely aware that the gifting the Lord has placed within me sometimes gets turned wrong side out! I am also acutely aware that the enemy of my soul would love to place a "Gag Order" over my mouth. But my passion for truth, justice, protection for those I cherish deeply, and the fear of the Lord keeps the words coming.

I have learned that if you allow the fear of man or need of approval to dictate your life - your dreams and aspirations could end up being the dash on your tombstone between the dates of your birth and your death. At the age of 102 you could still be sitting on the curb of "I wish" with your bags packed as your "What could have been" waves as it passes you by.

I have discovered the people that have judged me the harshest are also the same people who never bothered to call or come by for "The rest of my story."  At the same time, I discovered the Lord has healed my heart to the point I can still love, forgive when I "do" know "ALL of the rest of the story."  There is a time to be silent - and there is a time to speak.

It is difficult at best to operate with any part of your body in a sling - especially, your heart. I have discovered that you can completely be transformed but, still walk with a significant limp.  As ugly as they are, and sometimes disfiguring, scars are necessary.

As perfect as Jesus was - His battles produced scars as an ever present reminder of His triumphant victory. It is our Adamic nature that would seek to cover our wounds under a cloak of shame when in fact; they should be worn as medals of Honor.

After these so many years, I am still a dreamer. Your age nor circumstances does not determine your ability to conceive and produce the desires of your heart or the plans God has foreordained for you. Lest you need a reminder, revisit the story of Sarah and Abraham.

I have been reminded that relationships are much like shadows - some are stronger and more apparent.  Others fade or disappear altogether depending on the position of the light. You must be willing to purge and let things/people go.  In the 'process of time' all things fade - with the exception of the love and truth of God's Word.  His promise to never leave you nor forsake you is ever present.

Often times the bad things that have happened in our lives and those we love ultimately serves as the components and ingredients for the recipe of our life - Romans 8:26-28 (MSG) ^"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

(to be continued).....  ta - ta - for now

 

THE BROKEN WING

 I wrote this poem many years ago, but just now felt released to share.

The hard knocks of life paid an unexpected visit
to the sparrow’s nest that eventful day.
Little did she know she had been selected
for the enemy's next prey.

With his selection complete,
He rehearsed, repeatedly, her final defeat.
He roared orders from Hell below.
'THIS TIME’ he hissed would be the severest blow.

He released the calculated challenge
into the heart of her chest...
YES, indeed, this would be his very best!



With little warning of the violent thrust,
Not only was she violated in her physical body,

But, at the core of her trust.

She was forced from the safety of the trees;
Body broken,
She was knocked to her knees.

The enemy of her soul
would arrive at each day’s dawning,
to see what array of lies
he could serve her this morning.

Oh what an unusual condition,
no longer a sparrow in flight position.

She fell from the place of self-sufficiency,
now, reduced to minimized capabilities.
Oh the shame and humiliation of the fall.

Did anyone see?
Did anyone care?
Anyone at all?

Oh, how can I ever be of use again?
The pain is too great!
Will I ever mend?

Along with hard knocks, self-pity would also call.
Once more to rehearse the trauma,
she was forced to relive the events of the fall.

The other birds whispered -  “She didn’t respond like I thought she should.
I certainly don’t believe she’s done all she could.
She was soaring, just about to peak,
instead, she has disappeared into what seems to be
“a solemn retreat.”

Yes there had been many challenges,
more than a few,
but she always landed on her feet
with the right “solution” of just what to do.

Wounded and sore,
with every breath,
her bones would roar.

With relentless pain, the torment grew.
The other sparrows questioned, judged, and thought they knew…

They only shook their heads, in disbelief,
surely, she is overwhelmed with grief.
Furthermore, they concluded,
I think this time …she’s really through!

The little sparrow cried in the light of sunshine’s day.
She cried in the quiet stillness of the moon’s steady ray.
Isolated by circumstances from her own kind,
the enemy’s reports and fears plagued her mind.

As the business of day would relinquish to the still of the night,
Father Time would tip toe in to touch her brow,
and hold His little sparrow tight.

He would whisper encouragement in her weary ear.
Ever so gently he would transfuse a deeper measure of faith,

and blow afresh on her dreams held dear.

Unbeknownst to her, this exercise was taking her to a higher place,

closer to her Maker, nearer  His face.

Though the battle fierce seemed never ending,

combined with prayers and Angelic attention,

her broken body and spirit was quietly mending.

Only in the process of time, would she again emerge from the dust of despair,
for there was One, the One who knows all,
who was never taken unaware
to the magnitude of the tragic fall.

With a Master’s touch and Craftsman’s skill
He breathed strength into her broken heart,
And, thus, renewed her will.

Her tears now dried she started to sing,
boldly proclaiming!
Her voice once silenced, now began to ring..

"Although my wing had to be replaced...
He has molded me another…
with GREAT…GREAT,
AMAZING,
GRACE!"


           t-t-f-n (ta - ta - for - now)

Spring Has Sprung...

I may not be able to remember what I had today for lunch, but I can remember what a little boy said to me in the 6th grade that still makes me giggle. "Spring has sprung, the grass has riz.  I wonder where them birdies is??" (Being from the South has its' perks) It has been a never ending Spring time rhyme that comes to visit each year when the buttercups start to peek out from the melting snow, and the worms are playing hide n’ seek with the Robins.

In my lifetime, I have never known life in general to be such a battlefield for myself, and those I love. We have just transitioned through the Easter Season.

For me, Spring is the continuation of the Resurrection Celebration….life blossoming in the deadest of places. Hope springs eternal.

HAPPY SPRING!

                         t-t-f-n- (ta-ta-for-now)

Café Gethsemane - How Important Is Forgiveness?

True forgiveness is when One may pour out All the contents Of one’s heart, Chaff and grain together Knowing that The greatest of hands Will take and sift it, Keep what is worth keeping And, with a breath of kindness, Blow the rest away. Anonmymous

As the curtain was closing on the final act of His earthly ministry, Jesus was the textbook example of forgiveness – laid open.

The Word declares that Satan had nothing in Him, ZERO, NO DARKNESS and NO LEGAL RIGHTS! UNTIL, at the “Café Gethsemane” when He was served the ornate silver goblet bubbling with “our” judgment. Who was the maitre d? Was it a Principality or Power? Was it Satan himself, the one whose ultimate goal was to destroy Jesus’ and His Father’s credibility?

I believe Satan thought this was his finest hour, and he was dressed fit to kill. Was his attire, a tuxedo complete with white ruffled shirt, red bow tie, matching cumber bun, and of course, black coat and a tail? Now the smells of “Café Gethsemane” not only consisted of the lingering smells of anointing oil used to prepare Jesus’ body for burial fresh from the alabaster box, but now included the hissing, acrid, burning odors of death and Hell.

He, the ‘Accuser of the Brethren,’ this slithering epitome of evil, has now been given the God ordained opportunity to serve Jesus one simple concoction known as “the sins of the world”. The vilest depravity known to man was now being served to this spotless Lamb on a silver platter.

We cannot conceive all the ingredients in this Hellatious recipe. I believe this cup was bottomless. I believe that while Jesus was waging the warfare of faith… He had a vision. I believe there was a video replay of everything He experienced, saw, heard, tasted and smelled on the day He descended into Hell to take captivity captive. I believe He saw each one of us, by name.

This was not a pink lemonade drink cool with fruit flavored ice cubes, or decorated with fruit and mint sprigs, but I believe it was hot with Hell’s furious flames licking up the sides and top of the goblet.

Could it possibly have been the intense heat that ensued from the war between the contents of this cup and Jesus’ virgin lips that increased the intensity of sweat on His sinless, healthy body? From the time of His birth, throughout His ministry, Satan repeatedly ended up with Jesus footprints on his slimy neck. Continuously, Jesus defeated him, and he was forced to maintain his distance and position until his God appointed turn.

Now in this garden that had once been Jesus’ refuge, the mantle for the salvation of all mankind was being placed on His back.

The battle was not the decision to die for a sin filled society. That plan and procedure had been implemented when Jesus conceded at the foundation of the world. But now, the battleground was in his soul, the battle of wills, and the decision still must be determined if His flesh would yield to the will of His Father.

In order for this plan to go as preplanned, Jesus must now submit to his archrival. He must temporarily display defeat and relinquish the crown and the belt. From this point on, it was now a matter of each step He would take fulfilling His own prophecies.

Jesus very last discourse to His Disciples as He was about to ascend, was not a rehearsal of all the great miracles, signs and wonders during His earthly reign. Nor gloating over the fact He would indeed have the last laugh over the cruelty and speculation of the Religious leaders. Neither was it about how He knew that for all eternity, Satan would be eating His dust!

The issue of offences and forgiveness was the last thing on Jesus’ mind as He was ascending. Only because He did not partake of this poisonous bait was He enabled to make this trip.

Not one of the Gospels was inclusive to all of Jesus’ last commandments. Instead, Matthew’s commentary begins with the opening instructional statements and finished in John with the somber reminder that each of His disciples would in fact be faced with identical temptations but would be endued with power to overcome.

Matthew 28:18: “Go therefore and make disciples, baptizing and teaching”. Mark 16:14 –18: “Now if you take up serpents, or drink anything deadly it no longer has any power over you”. Authentication of their ministry by supernatural signs, and this declaration was now mandatory.

**The Gardens: The very first conversation the Accuser ever had with man was in the Garden of Eden to place doubt as to God’s credibility. He has slithered in and out of the Old and New Testaments dragging his accusations along with him. When the Holy Spirit ushered Jesus into the wilderness, the devil was waiting to tempt Him by doubting His own credibility and tempt Him to misuse his power at the wrong place at the wrong time. The greatest temptation was the temptation to save Himself!

The enemy of our souls not only strategically plotted and planned for Jesus’ mere acquaintances to doubt Him, but those who were the most intimate; His friends, family, Disciples, and Religious Leaders. He even had the audacity to follow the one who had paved the way for Jesus ministry, John the Baptist, into his prison cell and whispered into his ear, “Go ahead and ask THE question …he must know…was He the one? In the last minutes of the evangelistic Disciple’s life he was plagued with doubt and fear. Had his ministry been in vain? Had he indeed been deceived?

The turmoil in Jesus’ mind was producing great drops of blood, slowly falling one by one, splattering on Adam’s cursed ground …that same ground that produced the crown of thorns that soon would be placed on His head. Both worlds were watching and waiting as Jesus was fighting the same battles Adam had faced in his garden. The Angels had witnessed defeat in the Garden once before.

Jesus was in the battle for His life, clutching His Father’s, and His own credibility to his drenched chest.

Satan was thrilled at the bloodletting, but all of Heaven had a secret. They knew that a supernatural real estate transaction was taking place. For every drop of blood that fell from the Redeemer’s brow another piece of the Garden experience was being redeemed! So YES, He could encourage, with authority, His Disciples to not fear any deadly thing. He had already bore the full brunt of the poison and knew His blood was the antidote. The Spirit of Truth had prevailed against the “Father of Lies”.

Luke 44 – 53: “that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name”, instructions to tarry in Jerusalem until they would be endued with power, and lastly, implemented the “power of the blessing” by the raising of His hands and declaration by His mouth.

John 20:21- 23: He breathed on the Disciples for them to receive the Holy Spirit, and lastly, gave them the most crucial instructions of their lives….”If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

**He was saying “Boys you are about to experience the identical opportunities lying before you that I have just come through. Your life and service TO Me, and FOR Me will require a supernatural impartation of grace to forgive for what the church is about to do to you. You are about to be offered the opportunity to heap judgment unto yourselves if you drink the deadly cup of bitterness and un-forgiveness served by the “Offense” himself. The ultimate choice will be yours alone.

Biblical history was penning the last chapters of Jesus’ final hours.

At the end of the mock trial, the betrayal by a kiss, the physical and emotional abandonment by all of the significant males in His life (with the exception of John) including the excruciating torture – you would assume there was nothing more for Him to endure. But, never at any point during His short life span of 33 years was Jesus more human and vulnerable than when He faced His last temptation. This time not with His flesh intact, but layed open to the point He no longer resembled any human form.

Satan, now disguised, as a Roman soldier offered him the cup of gall (bitterness) one final time. Jesus refused the bait. Satan’s pressure on Jesus was un-relentless to destroy His and God’s credibility up until His last breath. This was reflected in Jesus bitter cry, “My God why hast thou forsaken Me?”

Jesus said, “IT IS FINISHED!” I came into this world branded an offense, bearing the responsibility to restore “Our” credibility. But I have overcome, and in a matter of hours the victory will be complete.

How often does Jesus have to still make the choice to forgive? Every time you ask Him!

The offended party may argue, how is it really possible to know if you have actually forgiven your enemies? There is no true forgiveness until you bear the same fruit Jesus produced during His time of ministry and betrayal… compassion. Not only was compassion His first fruit, but also the last. The fruit itself outwardly was not any different, but there was a difference…this time it was completely ripe, and mature. The fruit was now large enough for the entire human race, but palatable enough for you and me to partake and not choke.

I believe some of the detailed abuse Jesus experienced while going through the trial was unspeakable and unprintable. Hell’s fury and retaliation were unleashed against this virgin Lamb. With this choice opportunity availed to Satan, the son of perdition, you can be assured he left no stone unturned.

The one thing Jesus was NOT hung up on was self-pity or excuses by what was done to Him!

His last act of compassion and mercy was in the throes of His persecution, while He was strung high and wide. This was to remit the sins of all who had in the past, and in the future, would betray Him. All they needed to do was ask. He had done all the work.

Unforgiveness was the only thing that could have caused Jesus, the Christ, to miss eternity.

                   t-t-f-n (ta - ta - for - now)

THE TRUE COLORS OF EASTER

The old saying is …”One picture is worth a thousand words.” With that being said, I am allowing this illustration to depict what Easter means to me.

This particular illustration is not something I just dreamed up. This is a vision I have held deep in my heart since 1988. The night I made the initial sketch the only art supplies I owned was a small pack of inexpensive copy paper and a #2 lead pencil. I did not own a computer, and certainly did not have any working knowledge of painting digitally. This was also the same night I felt direct inspiration regarding all of the ideas that would eventually be the sum total of High Art Forms and Modern Orange.

As I contemplate all that embodies both the crucifixion, and the resurrection, I am amazed there is always another aspect of power to be revealed. I am not sure we can ever fully comprehend the magnitude of courage required to fulfill the mandate on Jesus life. It is this fresh revelation, together with the events of these last two years that have forged courage I have never experienced before.

As I read and reread the Biblical depiction of the Passover Season, I am also acutely aware of the difference in relationships birthed out of obligation versus love.

Relationships birthed out of obligation are ultimately destined to fail. The fruit of this type of relationship is inevitable; frustration, bitterness, resentment, etc. I submit that if the motivation of the cross had been anything other than love it would have been totally ineffective.

Love enabled this mortal man to sacrifice and endure the highest levels of betrayal, abandonment, abuse, and ultimately the most horrific of all acts…the Roman crucifixion. The rusty nails did not secure this spotless Lamb to the cross; it was the power of Love.

Love enables us to respond beyond the emotions of the Adamic nature. Love makes the impossible possible. Tis’ the season to forgive.

              T-T-F-N ( ta-ta-for-now)

THE 'REALLY' NEW YEAR

As many of you know, as my husband’s health declined, I closed the door on my Blog and my studio. It is my goal to end 2012 in a manner that would honor his life and belief in my dream. So here I am in a new location, a widow… nevertheless...BUT GOD.
I find it virtually impossible to step into a ‘NEW’ Year without reviewing the slide show that has been taking place in my heart these last several days. I have prayed, and asked others to join me, as I have pondered what my future looks like.

It feels as though the huge eraser of life swept through and erased people and relationships I was not prepared to let go of. My reaction wasn’t pretty to say the least.

I believe if I were to make a list of all the changes and challenges that have transpired during 2012 it would be staggering. In addition, the other list that would be staggering is my personal list of miracles. Simply put, there are no less than a bazillion.

Things I formerly soooo took for granted as being rated normal or average, for me, became miracles. It is amazing how your view becomes altered from the bottom with your mouth stuffed to overflowing with humble pie.

I believe that it is an inherent characteristic of human nature to believe that somehow as you gossip, fret, cry, rant, rave, walk the floor, and pray over the losses and failures of others…you are exempt. You must not compare your victories, even more, your losses. This is the height of arrogance and pride. You don’t intentionally feel this way, it is just a fact.

The last Women’s Meeting (where I ministered)  the title of my message was, “Giants Have Relatives.” Little did I know the impact those words would have in my own life.

How many times have I prayed Psalm 23 for others, and just last week that was a portion of the prayer a woman of God prayed for me.

This has been a year of more than one hard decision, and more often than not, I felt like the Lone Ranger. If you know me at all, if after praying, I sense I have the leading of the Lord I will proceed with or without a fan club. The ones you begin with are rarely the ones you end with.

Jesus  life was the perfect example. I surmise that there were more of Jesus followers than recorded. Often it is written they followed from afar. I believe they were secret believers in total agreement of His ministry and choices. They just could not withstand the fire and peer pressure that surrounded His life. Although, I certainly am not comparing myself to Jesus, it is His model that gives me strength.

The sure thing I know about the upcoming year is the same thing I need to remember concerning however many years have been granted to me.

ta- ta -for - now 

I still have a dream that needs to be fulfilled!

The Resurrection Tree

This is a true story.

Once upon a time there was a young family...the mommy, the daddy, and two adorable children.  A little boy and a little girl.  The little family was so happy.

They lived in a cute little house on top of a little hill. This cute little house had a HUGE picture window. The front yard had  a HUGE, beautiful pine tree right smack in front of this window.  The mommy loved this tree!

Often times, the mommy would lie in the floor upside down so she could see all the way to the top of her beloved pine tree. 

There was so much life in this one tree. There were hundreds of pinecones...all sizes and shapes. Then there were the bird nests  of the mommy's favorite bird, the cardinal.

The mommy would wonder in amazement as to how the little birds understood their roles in life so well. The daddy bird would go to work and bring the food home to feed his wife and babies. The mommy bird would stay home to guard the home and babies with her very life if need be.

The sunlight would beam in from the tippy top and shine all the way to the bottom. If you imagined hard enough, this could be a year-round Christmas Tree... weathering all of the seasons of life.

This little family experienced all the storms that little families experience. Then one day a HUGER than HUGE storm came.  It HUFFED and PUFFED, and blew their little house in.

When the storm had blown over the little family surveyed the damage.  To their dismay...the daddy had been blown to the other side of life.  The happy little family was not happy anymore.

The mommy had to work much harder to take care of her little house and the two adorable children. The mommy would come home very tired and discouraged, but her favorite pine tree would be waiting to welcome this weary mommy home every day, and provide shade for the two adorable children.

BUT ONE VERRRY HORRIBLE DAY....the mommy came home and her beloved tree was DEAD! 

Overnight a plague of worms had swarmed in and destroyed the well-worn friend. In a matter of hours, the once green epitome of life was now pitch black, not a green sign of life anywhere! EVERYTHING was gone...even her redbirds.  The mommy sobbed.

The mommy tried to save the tree.  She called every tree doctor  she could think of, and they all said the very same thing, "There was no hope...too late....cut it down."  The mommy just couldn't do it.

Somehow deep in this mommy's heart she knew there was still life in the heart of this tree...even if no one else could see it. So every night the mommy would gather her two adorable children, would hold hands, bow, and pray for the now dead tree.  They also prayed for the daddy that had been blown to the other side of life.

All of this mommy's friends and relatives thought she had flipped her wig, and made fun of her for believing what she did.  She didn't care.  The faith in her heart told her the truth.

Every night they prayed, and every day it didn't look like anything had changed. The date to have the tree cut down drew closer and closer.

THEN ONE DAY SOMETHING MIRACULOUS HAPPENED.... as suddenly as it had left...LIFE CAME BACK  INTO THE TREE!!!! Really, it did!

Every part of the tree that once portrayed death was NOW more alive than ever! The tree was much greener! The tree had twice as many pinecones! The mommy's favorite redbirds moved back in and so did the daddy that had been blown to the other side of life.

Over the years, as I have faced impossible situations, the Lord would speak gently to my heart and remind me of the miracle of my pine tree.

 

I cannot tell my true story without being reminded of another true story about a tree.

Matthew 28:5-7 ⁵But the angel said to the women, Do not be alarmed and frightened, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, Who was crucified.

⁶He is not here; He has risen, as He said [He would do]. Come, see the place where He lay.

⁷Then go quickly and tell His disciples, He has risen from the dead, and behold, He is going before you to Galilee; there you will see Him. Behold, I have told you.

With God nothing is impossible.


         t-t-f-n (ta-ta-for-now)

Walk A Mile In My Shoes

I recently have been reminded of a long ago experience that carries a very relevant 'NOW' message.

In the beginning of my walk with God there were many older saints that did as the scriptures commanded for the older women to teach the younger, and took me under their wings.  One such woman that I will refer to  simply as  "Miss Lorene", left an indelible  mark on my mind and my heart.

We sat on opposite sides of the church for many, many years, but always connected via a Sunday wave or would throw each other a kiss. In the early days of ministry she was one of my faithful cheerleaders.

My young family had hit an unusually harsh, private storm.  I felt as though I was going down for the third time, and being fairly new in the things of God, wondered if I had been forsaken. Of course I hadn't, but I was asking the Lord for reassurance.

He answered my request with a dream...not mine...but that of  "Miss Lorene's."

She was a very tall, stately woman. Her presence exuded the love of God.  Her soft auburn colored hair was lightly streaked with gray wisps of wisdom. That particular Sunday morning, her hug felt like a safe harbor for my weary, five-foot-four,  beaten little ship to land.

Her voice was so soft you sometimes had to strain to hear her speak. She began by saying, "Cathy, I had a dream about you last night... 

You were on a very narrow path. Not only was the path narrow, but it was made of very sharp jagged rocks.  In addition, there were many huge boulders strategically placed at various intervals that represented seemingly impossible obstacles.

You had stopped and sat down on one of the larger rocks.  You were weeping because your feet were bleeding from the journey.  I appeared on the path and took my shoes off and offered them to you. I knew they were not your exact size... too big for you, nevertheless, they would help you complete your journey."

God had answered my prayers and quieted my fears of abandonment.

Over the subsequent years, the symbolism of those shoes have taken on a variety of meanings, and more precious with each step in my spiritual journey.

In a world of hopelessness, despair, broken dreams, disappointments, and

bleeding feet... Who needs 'YOUR' shoes today?

      t-t-f-n (ta - ta - for now)