My 2014 Review

I truly love reading all of the posts regarding what each of you have learned during 2014. They are all so beautifully written, and raw with transparent emotion.

I have started my thoughts on the subject more than once… I currently have two and a half sentences written, but volumes in my heart.

I have spent the majority of this day sitting in my husband’s chair, listening to my Pandora’s worship music – with only the glow of the fireplace lighting the room, and an almost empty box of Kleenx.

The truth of the matter is… I am not sure you really have the full understanding of what you have learned until a critical experience puts demand on the need of that knowledge.

I keep saying that at my age I can’t be shocked – I have learned that is not true.

I have learned that change is inevitable – change for the better – change for the worse – it is all necessary - both, for our growth and our health.

I have learned that regardless of your age, you do not outgrow your emotions. You do not outgrow the need for God, meaningful touch, communication, safe companionship, and the need for expression of your God given talents/abilities, or the shock of betrayal.  It is during the ebb and flow of your life that you gain control - only to lose control – repeat….

I have learned you will have the opportunity to practice what you preach. The Word declares that satan comes for the word’s sake? Whatever advice you have given others, you may as well go sit on your porch and wait.

I have learned that I cannot afford to be afraid.

I have learned that I am not indispensable, and people can live without you…. and vice- versa.

I have learned there is a difference in having relatives and family. I have learned that you can still love those where the communication has been broken. Love does not have to be reciprocated.

I have learned to be quiet, and hold my peace in the face of accusation of myself and those I love.  I have learned to pray for ‘truth in the inward parts.”

I have learned that in this life - you may never see justice served. This could be God’s grace… do you really want to?

I have learned you can feel beautiful regardless of what society dictates.

I have learned you can camp out in your Comfort Zone, and possibly die a recluse.

I have learned that I have accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed!

I have learned that unfortunately, sometimes you can only learn the value of life through death.

I have learned to cherish the footprints in the carpet and the long ago sounds in the walls.

I have learned you can survive grief.

I am once again reminded of a long ago lesson…the best antidote for life is laughter.

I have experienced the ‘things’ of life growing dimmer as Christ’s love and grace for me grows brighter.

I have learned it is not important in many cases for you to know that I have spent this year weeping, praying, and rejoicing with many of you – even without your knowledge.

It is my prayer for 2015 that all the black birds of despair in your life be transformed into peacocks of renewed hope & resurrection.

t-t-f-n (ta- ta- for- now)

Lessons Learned From the Class of 2013 (Part 2)

When you have experienced a difficult year, the temptation is to cover yourself with camouflage in hopes the New Year cannot determine your whereabouts.  The truth is....that is not what you really want. Truly - HOPE does spring eternal.

Continuing on with Lessons Learned From The Class of 2013 (Part 2):

I have learned that I will NEVER stop praying for the healing of others up until the very last breath - whichever one comes first - theirs or mine.

I have learned that your hope, joy, peace can be built on none other than Christ alone.

I have learned to embrace the flawed parts of my life; body and soul.  For that is the sum total of what Christ deemed worthy to purchase with His life.

I have learned that facing my failures have not only become my credentials for ministry or the stepping stones to a different outcome for my future, but the pathway for deliverance (if heeded) for others. Jesus said those I have forgiven much - love me much and that is a fact!

Once you deal with the bitter - your capacity for the sweeter becomes enlarged.

I have learned that FEAR IS THE ULTIMATE LIAR, and offences keep you frozen in time.

I have come to terms with the fact that the "Word" is like a fire shut up in my bones!

Sadly, I have also learned that there are just some things that simply are NOT to be resurrected. There is rest in trusting God's ways are higher than our ways.

I have learned that being alone does not necessarily make you desperate or lonely.

I cherish my sense of humor as part of my heritage - along with the gray hair. The gray hair is proof positive that I survived another year. The sense of humor has served me well as a life preserver.

I have learned the true power of the blessing and covenant relationships.

I am thankful to discover that I can bring beauty and organization into chaos - I can perceive value in what others may deem worthless, broken or beyond repair.

Probably one of the biggest life lessons I have learned in this year's class...murmuring and complaining transforms the ground beneath you into quicksand.  It is then possible for you to lose your life stuck in one spot.

As I close...I was seeking the Lord as to how I should begin the New Year. Although, I had no one to kiss at the closing of the old year and the beginning of the new - I felt a surge of hope. I felt the Lord instructed me to stay up and turn on my front porch lights as if I were expecting a new friend.

HAPPY NEW YEAR & WELCOME 2014!

Lessons Learned From the Class of 2013 (Part I)

After reading others New Year's comments from what they had learned this past year, I was motivated to complete my own notes in the form of a Blog.  If for no other reason, as a measuring stick as to my own progress or lack thereof this past twelve months. So here are this year's class notes:

I do not shrink from issues that are what I judge to be battle worthy. If it is something I am passionate about, if necessary, will lead the charge knowing full well there could be a high price tag that accompanies this choice.

I am well aware that my passions often lead me to be outspoken. I also am acutely aware that the gifting the Lord has placed within me sometimes gets turned wrong side out! I am also acutely aware that the enemy of my soul would love to place a "Gag Order" over my mouth. But my passion for truth, justice, protection for those I cherish deeply, and the fear of the Lord keeps the words coming.

I have learned that if you allow the fear of man or need of approval to dictate your life - your dreams and aspirations could end up being the dash on your tombstone between the dates of your birth and your death. At the age of 102 you could still be sitting on the curb of "I wish" with your bags packed as your "What could have been" waves as it passes you by.

I have discovered the people that have judged me the harshest are also the same people who never bothered to call or come by for "The rest of my story."  At the same time, I discovered the Lord has healed my heart to the point I can still love, forgive when I "do" know "ALL of the rest of the story."  There is a time to be silent - and there is a time to speak.

It is difficult at best to operate with any part of your body in a sling - especially, your heart. I have discovered that you can completely be transformed but, still walk with a significant limp.  As ugly as they are, and sometimes disfiguring, scars are necessary.

As perfect as Jesus was - His battles produced scars as an ever present reminder of His triumphant victory. It is our Adamic nature that would seek to cover our wounds under a cloak of shame when in fact; they should be worn as medals of Honor.

After these so many years, I am still a dreamer. Your age nor circumstances does not determine your ability to conceive and produce the desires of your heart or the plans God has foreordained for you. Lest you need a reminder, revisit the story of Sarah and Abraham.

I have been reminded that relationships are much like shadows - some are stronger and more apparent.  Others fade or disappear altogether depending on the position of the light. You must be willing to purge and let things/people go.  In the 'process of time' all things fade - with the exception of the love and truth of God's Word.  His promise to never leave you nor forsake you is ever present.

Often times the bad things that have happened in our lives and those we love ultimately serves as the components and ingredients for the recipe of our life - Romans 8:26-28 (MSG) ^"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

(to be continued).....  ta - ta - for now

 

Grandmop And The Turnip

 (A tale about allowing those you love to be themselves)


The following is an excerpt from my Mother/Daughter Banquet teaching from several years ago. Regretfully, since this date, both my mother and husband have gone home to be with the Lord.  What better way to honor my mom and my husband's prayers than to make someone else smile.

Who knew you could learn a life lesson from a turnip?

When the Lord gave me this visual I went dashing to Wal-Mart to purchase a turnip. I needed to have time to get it all dolled up for the Banquet! I was in a BIG hurry when I realized I did not know what a turnip looked like! So I asked the person stocking the produce, and she didn’t know either! Luckily, my husband did. He purchased the lonely little turnip and brought her home in time for her debut.

How many of you have ever heard the saying, “You can’t get blood out of a turnip?” I’m a visual learner so here goes…

How many of you know you can be related, but feel like you live in two different worlds? Surely the other person is the problem. The conversation from two different worlds.

Gmop: What’s up Turnip?

Turnip: Not much GrandMop…just trying to figure out what to do today.

Gmop: I know…we could go shopping! I have a coupon!

Turnip: I can’t go shopping…I don’t have a driver’s license or a coupon. For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip!

Gmop: Well…maybe we could go get a massage and a pedicure.

Turnip: I can’t go get a massage and a pedicure…I don’t even have a back, toenails or polish!

For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip!

Gmop: I’ve got it! We could go out for a quick bite! We could go have Sushi and then coffee from Starbucks!

Turnip: I can’t go get sushi! I don’t have a Sushi Bar in my neighborhood and I’m allergic to caffeine!

For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip!

Gmop: Turnip this is so frustrating! I need so much more love, attention, and time than you are giving me! YOU NEVER CALL ME! YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME! IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU! YOU DIDN’T EVEN COMPLIMENT ME ON MY NEW DRESS!

Turnip: Grandmop…I’m sorry….this makes me sad. I don’t seem to be much help or any fun. God designed me completely different. If you plant or cook me, I could give you nutrients to help you stay healthy or I would look great in your purple kitchen! Besides…I don’t even have a watch. Plus, I live on the ground and I can’t see above your ankles! For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip.

Thank you Turnip…please take a bow.

Isn’t this ridiculous? In reality, this is no more ridiculous than the outrageous demands that we place on the people closest to us. For me…. lesson well learned.

After the banquet, during our drive home, our daughter just shook her head and said, “Of course, my mother painted a turnip!” (Poor girl…imagine having me for a mother)

             H A P P Y   M O T H E R ’ S   D A Y !

                            t-t-f-n- (ta- ta- for - now)

Spring Has Sprung...

I may not be able to remember what I had today for lunch, but I can remember what a little boy said to me in the 6th grade that still makes me giggle. "Spring has sprung, the grass has riz.  I wonder where them birdies is??" (Being from the South has its' perks) It has been a never ending Spring time rhyme that comes to visit each year when the buttercups start to peek out from the melting snow, and the worms are playing hide n’ seek with the Robins.

In my lifetime, I have never known life in general to be such a battlefield for myself, and those I love. We have just transitioned through the Easter Season.

For me, Spring is the continuation of the Resurrection Celebration….life blossoming in the deadest of places. Hope springs eternal.

HAPPY SPRING!

                         t-t-f-n- (ta-ta-for-now)

THE 'REALLY' NEW YEAR

As many of you know, as my husband’s health declined, I closed the door on my Blog and my studio. It is my goal to end 2012 in a manner that would honor his life and belief in my dream. So here I am in a new location, a widow… nevertheless...BUT GOD.
I find it virtually impossible to step into a ‘NEW’ Year without reviewing the slide show that has been taking place in my heart these last several days. I have prayed, and asked others to join me, as I have pondered what my future looks like.

It feels as though the huge eraser of life swept through and erased people and relationships I was not prepared to let go of. My reaction wasn’t pretty to say the least.

I believe if I were to make a list of all the changes and challenges that have transpired during 2012 it would be staggering. In addition, the other list that would be staggering is my personal list of miracles. Simply put, there are no less than a bazillion.

Things I formerly soooo took for granted as being rated normal or average, for me, became miracles. It is amazing how your view becomes altered from the bottom with your mouth stuffed to overflowing with humble pie.

I believe that it is an inherent characteristic of human nature to believe that somehow as you gossip, fret, cry, rant, rave, walk the floor, and pray over the losses and failures of others…you are exempt. You must not compare your victories, even more, your losses. This is the height of arrogance and pride. You don’t intentionally feel this way, it is just a fact.

The last Women’s Meeting (where I ministered)  the title of my message was, “Giants Have Relatives.” Little did I know the impact those words would have in my own life.

How many times have I prayed Psalm 23 for others, and just last week that was a portion of the prayer a woman of God prayed for me.

This has been a year of more than one hard decision, and more often than not, I felt like the Lone Ranger. If you know me at all, if after praying, I sense I have the leading of the Lord I will proceed with or without a fan club. The ones you begin with are rarely the ones you end with.

Jesus  life was the perfect example. I surmise that there were more of Jesus followers than recorded. Often it is written they followed from afar. I believe they were secret believers in total agreement of His ministry and choices. They just could not withstand the fire and peer pressure that surrounded His life. Although, I certainly am not comparing myself to Jesus, it is His model that gives me strength.

The sure thing I know about the upcoming year is the same thing I need to remember concerning however many years have been granted to me.

ta- ta -for - now 

I still have a dream that needs to be fulfilled!