Thursday, January 1, 2015

My 2014 Review


I truly love reading all of the posts regarding what each of you have learned during 2014. They are all so beautifully written, and raw with transparent emotion.

I have started my thoughts on the subject more than once… I currently have two and a half sentences written, but volumes in my heart.

I have spent the majority of this day sitting in my husband’s chair, listening to my Pandora’s worship music – with only the glow of the fireplace lighting the room, and an almost empty box of Kleenx.

The truth of the matter is… I am not sure you really have the full understanding of what you have learned until a critical experience puts demand on the need of that knowledge.


I keep saying that at my age I can’t be shocked – I have learned that is not true.

I have learned that change is inevitable – change for the better – change for the worse – it is all necessary - both, for our growth and our health.

I have learned that regardless of your age, you do not outgrow your emotions. You do not outgrow the need for God, meaningful touch, communication, safe companionship, and the need for expression of your God given talents/abilities, or the shock of betrayal.  It is during the ebb and flow of your life that you gain control - only to lose control – repeat….

I have learned you will have the opportunity to practice what you preach. The Word declares that satan comes for the word’s sake? Whatever advice you have given others, you may as well go sit on your porch and wait.

I have learned that I cannot afford to be afraid.

I have learned that I am not indispensable, and people can live without you…. and vice- versa.

I have learned there is a difference in having relatives and family. I have learned that you can still love those where the communication has been broken. Love does not have to be reciprocated.

I have learned to be quiet, and hold my peace in the face of accusation of myself and those I love.  I have learned to pray for ‘truth in the inward parts.”

I have learned that in this life - you may never see justice served. This could be God’s grace… do you really want to?

I have learned you can feel beautiful regardless of what society dictates.

I have learned you can camp out in your Comfort Zone, and possibly die a recluse.


I have learned that I have accomplished more than I could have ever dreamed!

I have learned that unfortunately, sometimes you can only learn the value of life through death.

I have learned to cherish the footprints in the carpet and the long ago sounds in the walls.

I have learned you can survive grief.

I am once again reminded of a long ago lesson…the best antidote for life is laughter.

I have experienced the ‘things’ of life growing dimmer as Christ’s love and grace for me grows brighter.

I have learned it is not important in many cases for you to know that I have spent this year weeping, praying, and rejoicing with many of you – even without your knowledge.

It is my prayer for 2015 that all the black birds of despair in your life be transformed into peacocks of renewed hope & resurrection.

t-t-f-n (ta- ta- for- now)


Monday, August 11, 2014

Happy Birthday Michael

Today would have been my husband’s birthday.  

During the three year duration of this loss, I find that every celebration date connected with Michael in any way carries its own set of new emotions. I really never know what to expect.

First of all, I can announce that this year I did get out of the fetal position, and actually get out of the bed to get dressed. I am planning a sleep-over with his favorite daughter, and cooking dinner for his son, and grandchildren that he adored. We are going to celebrate his life and legacy.

Our relationship was far from perfect, but he was my husband and I loved him to the depth of his being.

If you know me personally, you also know that we had a dream. The dream had a name, “High Art Forms.” This was the name of a company that God gave me in a dream in 1988, and did not exist. The dream was to take place in stages.

It has taken 26 years in order for the promises of God to come to pass in my life.  It has taken a village to make this possible – too numerous to name. Regretfully, a large number of them are no longer a part of my life for reasons I may never understand. Truly I am surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses.

In the last few weeks the official website has been completed, but I have been hesitant to announce it publicly. The site was developed to announce the dreams one by one.

My first, of a four-book children’s series has been developed into an app, “The Lonely Little Star.”  The bi-lingual app has been approved, and is now for sale in the stores listed on the website.  The iPhone app is still in process.

The challenges to birth this dream have been unfathomable - to the point I have seriously considered stopping here.  Few people knew there was more to the story.  

The stores are limited as to the age range you can list as appropriate.  I opted for the 6+ range in hopes to eventually make this available to schools, home school groups, ministries, etc. since the bullying message is so relevant in today’s culture. In fact this could be utilized for much younger children as well.

One of the main challenges has been in building a trustworthy, competent team. I am thankful for the individual’s abilities that have brought High Art Forms to this point, without all of them; this would not have been possible.

I have felt like Jacob sleeping on a rock, and wrestling with the angel over the decision to progress forward or just camp where I landed… but then there was the dream …last night. I will not attempt to reveal the details here, but surmise it to say, the Lord revealed his heart to me…for the children.

 In the dream, I was weeping and asking him how in the world would the children be given hope? Who would tell them?  Due to the divine nature of the dream, I am re-committing afresh my time and talents to follow this to the end.

In moving forward I need to know for a certainty that I can lock arms with individuals who have a ministry heart. Individuals I can trust to walk step in step, and heart to heart to the end of the ‘orange brick road” in order to reach the children.

In the month’s prior to his death, Michael wrote much of the copy for the site.  In the weeks prior to his death he hobbled down to my studio on his walker and prayed for me and the dream. He prayed that God would thoroughly equip me with the people and resources.

I cannot think of a better way to honor the love of my life.  So with that said, I now introduce to the world www.highartforms.com, and “The Lonely Little Star.”

Happy Birthday Granddad  :’’’’’’’’’’’)
With all my love,
Grandmop

If you do decide to purchase it, I would be eternally grateful if you would take the time to write a kind review.
(t-t-f-n)ta-ta - for - now



Sunday, June 15, 2014

Not Your Expected Father’s Day Message


This is not the slickest picture of my beloved Michael, (not a monogram in sight) but the truest in its’ raw emotion and passion for the God he loved so much, and the company he served for 17 years.

This was our last Christmas as a family as we had previously known and loved it.  The following year began a season of unfathomable loss. 

In twenty-six years of ministry we had the distinct honor of witnessing a fruitful ministry of the miraculous.  We saw the lame walk, the blind’s sight restored, cancer bow to the Name of Jesus, marriages healed, the childless bear children, and people restored to their right mind.

Because of all of the miracles we had witnessed in the lives of others, these past experiences seemed to only magnify my feelings of helplessness, guilt, and inability to stop the impending season of severe pain, grief and sorrow. 

Nothing I had previously experienced prepared my heart to finish out my life as a widow or say good-bye to those I assumed to be permanent fixtures in the landscape of my own little world.

One of the last times I ministered in our home church, I did a teaching called “Giants Have Relatives.” I have to say that was one of the most profound nights of ministry I had ever personally experienced. 

Little did I know, I was preaching my future. 

When you read the account of David, the small shepherd boy, taking the head off of Goliath - you automatically assume that was the end – not so.  After doing an in-depth study, it was revealed this was only the beginning. 

By David closing the mouth  of the giant of filthy lies and intimidation , it put a target on his youthful back from the Goliath’s family…mama – n-em. These blood-thirsty giants tracked this ruddy faced lad into his adulthood.

David’s first mistake…he  assumed that this victory was permanent .  With this false assumption, he discarded the remainder of his stones. In the midst of the admiration of his peers and the victory of the moment, he abandoned his guard.

King David was the apple of God’s eye due to his ability to minister to the Lord Himself, and because of his repentant heart. The fact still remains, he lost his first child, his soul- brother, Jonathan, and  the sword never left his own home.  He died cold and alone.

I am not suggesting at all that you can  suppose to have the same expected end however you may serve the Lord.  

Yes, we have a new and better covenant.  But it is useless to defend yourself or your family if you come under the false assumption that there is still no effort to be exerted on your behalf. The covenant must be enacted – activated with your faith, and your words.

The bottom- line…. Life is going to go on with  or without you. The only choice you have is how  you respond to today.  The past is the land of Never-Again. 

As I reflect on the inevitable changes that have transpired in my galaxy, I have chosen to NOT allow the Giant of past regrets poison my future as I enter the land of “great and brighter promises. ”  For I am fully armed with the promise of my Heavenly Father,  “to be a father to the fatherless, and bring comfort to the widows.”

His love NEVER fails and is not on this world’s time-clock.

It is my sincere prayer, that you would experience an extra measure of peace, love, and comfort this Father’s Day, regardless of where you are on your personal road map of life.

         t-t-f-n- (ta-ta-for-now)

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Do Not Mistake Gentleness for Weakness


As Mother’s Day 2014 approaches we mothers often consider what kind of influence our lives have had on  own children. The truth is –we may never know for sure. That is where, not only the repentance for our mistakes comes in, but also our trust and faith.

With that said… out of the prayers and questions of my own heart, I share this Mother’s Day message with you.

 Hebrews 4:15 -Amplified Bible (AMP)   For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.

The One who walked on water had to, first, go the way of man – He, too, had to learn to crawl. His mother had to instill in Him the courage to take his first steps.

 The One whose voice carried the authority of Heaven and dominion over the hordes of Hell had to, first, go the way of man - He had to learn to talk.  His mother taught him to speak his first words.
The One whose hands contained the life force of his heavenly Father had to, first, go the way of man - He had to learn to wrap his tiny fingers around his “Sippy Cup”. His mother had to wean him and teach him how to feed himself.

Who taught this child, this man, Jesus, to submit to the will of the Father regardless of the cost?
“Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19, 51). Although she did not understand everything happening in her life, she trusted God to make it all clear to her in time.

Mary was submissive to God. She counted the cost. So far as she knew: she would probably lose Joseph; she would become a social outcast; she had no idea how she would raise the Child. Yet she said without hesitation, "May it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

Who instilled the faith of God in his Son’s pure heart? Mary was a woman of faith. Part of Elizabeth's prophetic response to Mary's greeting was "blessed is she who has believed" (Luke 1:45).Where did Jesus receive the fortitude to bear such great pain for the good of us all?
Where did He, as a child, learn the spiritual discipline that would carry him through his adult life? History indicates that Mary was only twelve years old when she was engaged to Joseph and thirteen when she gave birth to Jesus.“The Child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him” (Luke 2:40). Jesus’ knowledge and wisdom would certainly be partly due to the training Mary provided during those early years. By the time Jesus was 12 years old, He was able to amaze the scholars in the temple with His ability to discuss the Word of God (Luke 2:46–47).

Where did he learn about the great powers of God?
Where did he learn to respect the anointing of ministry?

Mary said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you" (John 2:5)...
Who taught the One who could have called 10,000 angels the reality and  amazing power of angels?

It was during Elizabeth’s sixth month of pregnancy that an angel appeared to Mary, who was living in Nazareth. Although she was “betrothed,” or engaged, to Joseph, Mary was still a virgin (Luke 1:34). The angel said to her:

“Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women! . . . Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end. . . . The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God” 

Where did the Son of God walking on this earth as a simple carpenter, learn to navigate the harshness of this worldly existence?

Who taught this humble servant  of God to continue his mission,  regardless of the pain and suffering he would endure?
With every drop of blood from our Savior’s brow, , He was counting the cost of his ultimate choice. Undoubtedly, as Jesus, the man, was writhing in mental anguish in the dust of Gethsemane – his mother was home engaging in a battle of her own praying for her child. How was he able to choose God’s will over his own?
Jesus gained the strength to handle the unfathomable pain, disappointments, rejection and offenses that would be his constant companions from his gentle, blameless mother. Scripture does not define what Mary's dreams for herself and her son may have been. 
When and how did the sinless Son of God come to understand that the favor and call of God would come along with false accusations, and betrayals? Where would He muster the strength to endure for the  ultimate victory of the cross?

He was a man well acquainted with grief and sorrow –It was Jesus mother, Mary, who paved the way for his heart to survive. Luke 2:30-35
This child marks both the failure and
    the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
    the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
    as God reveals who they really are.
Who taught this perfect, Sacrificial Lamb to rise above the offenses and persecution in to fulfill the ultimate purpose of his life - to die so that we may live?

Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible (AMP) 6 Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.


HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO EVERY COURAGEOUS WOMAN!
           t-t-f-n- (ta-ta for now)

Friday, May 9, 2014

As Sponge Bob says, "IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY!" (Repeat Performance)


This week-end is not only Mother's Day, but the three year Anniversary of Modern Orange. I posted on someone's Face Book page that many things can change between the starting gate and the finish line. On November 11th, 2011 the love of my life and #1 fan left this world to be with the Lord. I thought of attempting to write different Anniversary Blog, but somehow this seemed more fitting. Some things bear repeating...some left-overs taste better the second time around.

WELCOME BACK DEAR FRIENDS! The measure of success of any great blog is determined by the number of committed followers. Please consider following this blog and sharing with me your comments. I value your input.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...MODERN ORANGE!

If you are reading this blog, then for sure, you must have some idea of what an ordeal it has been to get this tiny piece of my world into yours. Believe it or not, many, many years of intercession have been necessary for this to take place. Disappointingly, my best cheer leader, my best friend, and my spiritual mentor of 23 years went home to be with the Lord on February 18th, 2010. Two days after my birthday.

The only way my heart can endure the loss is to know she can pray even more fervently for my dreams linked arm in arm with HER spiritual mentor, Jesus the Christ.

In the last several years of her life she confided to me that she wondered if her prayers really made any difference. I, for one, am her living proof.

"What's the big deal about a blog"? This project has been a reflection of my life. It is time for this caterpillar to be transformed into God's original design - a butterfly. I am thoroughly convinced the body of the caterpillar is a disguise hiding the beautiful things to come. No one really pays attention to a caterpillar - they appear too round, too many legs, and too clumsy. A pretty absurd creature if you really think about it. But alas, deep within its heart.....the caterpillar carries a secret. As we get to know each other more intimately, I will trust you with more and more pieces of my heart, my dreams and my secrets.

I was somehow fooled into believing that the most challenging years of my life were behind my husband and me. The Lord totally restored our failed marriage in 1988. We have experienced many triumphs and much heartbreak. But now, we were finally on course to fulfill the biggest dreams of our lives- the deepest desires of our hearts - relocate closer to our children and grandchildren.

Not so. Several months ago the love of my life was diagnosed with breast cancer, a rare diagnosis for a man. Not only rare, but in our case, a total surprise! My husband is a big healthy man, with a big voice, big feet, a big heart, and a big call of God on his life.

Needless to say...our applecart has not only been turned over, but the big fat wheels have fallen off! This past week he has undergone surgery, and as we speak, we are still awaiting test results.

I WANTED TO SCREAM! WHAT'S UP WITH THIS GOD! NOT NOW! NOT EVER! DEV-U-U-G-G-H-H-H-STATED! Did I mention I was devastated? Even the high road sometimes has potholes and can become slippery when wet.

The seemingly, "bullet proof and invincible " power couple that has prayed 22 years for everyone else's problems and healing , career  Agents, who have filed cancer claims for multitudes of clients, were now filing their own. Few people understand the battles we have been through to still be able to put our shoes under the same bed.

I have felt like an emotional yo-yo. Up - down - up - down - tied in knots. All of the promises of God, the love, prayers of family and friends, and my whacky sense of humor has been the buoy that has kept me afloat. I have laughingly compared myself to Sponge Bob in one of my favorite episodes. He starts crying and his eyes turn into sprinklers watering everything and everybody in his path.

Soooo - all this to say - it has become even more important and more urgent that my husband share in the dreams he has so lovingly allowed me to pursue. Sunday night May 9th, 2010 @ 12:01 a.m. we hit the publish button for my blog, MODERN ORANGE. My prior blog rehearses all the drama pertaining to this.

Immediately after MODERN ORANGE became official, my husband grabbed my hand and says, "Come on! I've got something to show you!" Hurriedly, he rushes me down the hall into the kitchen

(which could be a blog unto itself).

I nearly lost my breath! I really, really did resemble Sponge Bob more than ever!

Right there in the middle of the table, next to my orange Mother's Day roses, was an adorable birthday cake, decorated with my favorite orange color, and a single burning candle.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MODERN ORANGE", written in cursive across the top.



Bobbing up and down in the air was a brightly colored "CONGRATULATIONS" mylar balloon.The balloon was attached by orange ribbon to a chilled bottle of Sparkling Grape Juice!
To top it off...a musical card in almost life-size proportions was my friend, SPONGE BOB!

Making a special appearance to sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MODERN ORANGE!


I could not have said it better! Sponge Bob ends his rendition of the happy birthday tune as only he could by singing..."THE BEST DAY EVER!".

My husband and I ate birthday cake at midnight, savoring every bite. We laughed and cried all at the same time. Both of our sprinklers had been turned on!


Psalm 34:8 The Message: Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see-how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him.

                               t-t-f-n (ta-ta for now)






Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Lessons Learned From the Class of 2013 (Part 2)


When you have experienced a difficult year, the temptation is to cover yourself with camouflage in hopes the New Year cannot determine your whereabouts.  The truth is....that is not what you really want. Truly - HOPE does spring eternal.

Continuing on with Lessons Learned From The Class of 2013 (Part 2):

I have learned that I will NEVER stop praying for the healing of others up until the very last breath - whichever one comes first - theirs or mine.

I have learned that your hope, joy, peace can be built on none other than Christ alone.

I have learned to embrace the flawed parts of my life; body and soul.  For that is the sum total of what Christ deemed worthy to purchase with His life.

I have learned that facing my failures have not only become my credentials for ministry or the stepping stones to a different outcome for my future, but the pathway for deliverance (if heeded) for others. Jesus said those I have forgiven much - love me much and that is a fact!

Once you deal with the bitter - your capacity for the sweeter becomes enlarged.

I have learned that FEAR IS THE ULTIMATE LIAR, and offences keep you frozen in time.

I have come to terms with the fact that the "Word" is like a fire shut up in my bones!

Sadly, I have also learned that there are just some things that simply are NOT to be resurrected. There is rest in trusting God's ways are higher than our ways.

I have learned that being alone does not necessarily make you desperate or lonely.

I cherish my sense of humor as part of my heritage - along with the gray hair. The gray hair is proof positive that I survived another year. The sense of humor has served me well as a life preserver.

I have learned the true power of the blessing and covenant relationships.

I am thankful to discover that I can bring beauty and organization into chaos - I can perceive value in what others may deem worthless, broken or beyond repair.

Probably one of the biggest life lessons I have learned in this year's class...murmuring and complaining transforms the ground beneath you into quicksand.  It is then possible for you to lose your life stuck in one spot.

As I close...I was seeking the Lord as to how I should begin the New Year. Although, I had no one to kiss at the closing of the old year and the beginning of the new - I felt a surge of hope. I felt the Lord instructed me to stay up and turn on my front porch lights as if I were expecting a new friend.

HAPPY NEW YEAR & WELCOME 2014!



Lessons Learned From the Class of 2013 (Part I)

After reading others New Year's comments from what they had learned this past year, I was motivated to complete my own notes in the form of a Blog.  If for no other reason, as a measuring stick as to my own progress or lack thereof this past twelve months. So here are this year's class notes:

I do not shrink from issues that are what I judge to be battle worthy. If it is something I am passionate about, if necessary, will lead the charge knowing full well there could be a high price tag that accompanies this choice.

I am well aware that my passions often lead me to be outspoken. I also am acutely aware that the gifting the Lord has placed within me sometimes gets turned wrong side out! I am also acutely aware that the enemy of my soul would love to place a "Gag Order" over my mouth. But my passion for truth, justice, protection for those I cherish deeply, and the fear of the Lord keeps the words coming.

I have learned that if you allow the fear of man or need of approval to dictate your life - your dreams and aspirations could end up being the dash on your tombstone between the dates of your birth and your death. At the age of 102 you could still be sitting on the curb of "I wish" with your bags packed as your "What could have been" waves as it passes you by.

I have discovered the people that have judged me the harshest are also the same people who never bothered to call or come by for "The rest of my story."  At the same time, I discovered the Lord has healed my heart to the point I can still love, forgive when I "do" know "ALL of the rest of the story."  There is a time to be silent - and there is a time to speak.

It is difficult at best to operate with any part of your body in a sling - especially, your heart. I have discovered that you can completely be transformed but, still walk with a significant limp.  As ugly as they are, and sometimes disfiguring, scars are necessary.

As perfect as Jesus was - His battles produced scars as an ever present reminder of His triumphant victory. It is our Adamic nature that would seek to cover our wounds under a cloak of shame when in fact; they should be worn as medals of Honor.

After these so many years, I am still a dreamer. Your age nor circumstances does not determine your ability to conceive and produce the desires of your heart or the plans God has foreordained for you. Lest you need a reminder, revisit the story of Sarah and Abraham.

I have been reminded that relationships are much like shadows - some are stronger and more apparent.  Others fade or disappear altogether depending on the position of the light. You must be willing to purge and let things/people go.  In the 'process of time' all things fade - with the exception of the love and truth of God's Word.  His promise to never leave you nor forsake you is ever present.

Often times the bad things that have happened in our lives and those we love ultimately serves as the components and ingredients for the recipe of our life - Romans 8:26-28 (MSG) "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

(to be continued).....  ta - ta - for now


 

Friday, May 10, 2013

Grandmop And The Turnip

 (A tale about allowing those you love to be themselves)


The following is an excerpt from my Mother/Daughter Banquet teaching from several years ago. Regretfully, since this date, both my mother and husband have gone home to be with the Lord.  What better way to honor my mom and my husband's prayers than to make someone else smile.

Who knew you could learn a life lesson from a turnip?

When the Lord gave me this visual I went dashing to Wal-Mart to purchase a turnip. I needed to have time to get it all dolled up for the Banquet! I was in a BIG hurry when I realized I did not know what a turnip looked like! So I asked the person stocking the produce, and she didn’t know either! Luckily, my husband did. He purchased the lonely little turnip and brought her home in time for her debut.

How many of you have ever heard the saying, “You can’t get blood out of a turnip?” I’m a visual learner so here goes…

How many of you know you can be related, but feel like you live in two different worlds? Surely the other person is the problem. The conversation from two different worlds.

Gmop: What’s up Turnip?

Turnip: Not much GrandMop…just trying to figure out what to do today.

Gmop: I know…we could go shopping! I have a coupon!

Turnip: I can’t go shopping…I don’t have a driver’s license or a coupon. For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip!

Gmop: Well…maybe we could go get a massage and a pedicure.

Turnip: I can’t go get a massage and a pedicure…I don’t even have a back, toenails or polish!

For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip!

Gmop: I’ve got it! We could go out for a quick bite! We could go have Sushi and then coffee from Starbucks!

Turnip: I can’t go get sushi! I don’t have a Sushi Bar in my neighborhood and I’m allergic to caffeine!

For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip!

Gmop: Turnip this is so frustrating! I need so much more love, attention, and time than you are giving me! YOU NEVER CALL ME! YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME! IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU! YOU DIDN’T EVEN COMPLIMENT ME ON MY NEW DRESS!

Turnip: Grandmop…I’m sorry….this makes me sad. I don’t seem to be much help or any fun. God designed me completely different. If you plant or cook me, I could give you nutrients to help you stay healthy or I would look great in your purple kitchen! Besides…I don’t even have a watch. Plus, I live on the ground and I can’t see above your ankles! For heaven’s sake…I’m just a turnip.

Thank you Turnip…please take a bow.

Isn’t this ridiculous? In reality, this is no more ridiculous than the outrageous demands that we place on the people closest to us. For me…. lesson well learned.

After the banquet, during our drive home, our daughter just shook her head and said, “Of course, my mother painted a turnip!” (Poor girl…imagine having me for a mother)

             H A P P Y   M O T H E R ’ S   D A Y !

                            t-t-f-n- (ta- ta- for - now)

Saturday, May 4, 2013

THE BROKEN WING

 I wrote this poem many years ago, but just now felt released to share.

The hard knocks of life paid an unexpected visit
to the sparrow’s nest that eventful day.
Little did she know she had been selected
for the enemy's next prey.

With his selection complete,
He rehearsed, repeatedly, her final defeat.
He roared orders from Hell below.
'THIS TIME’ he hissed would be the severest blow.

He released the calculated challenge
into the heart of her chest...
YES, indeed, this would be his very best!



With little warning of the violent thrust,
Not only was she violated in her physical body,
But, at the core of her trust.

She was forced from the safety of the trees;
Body broken,
She was knocked to her knees.

The enemy of her soul
would arrive at each day’s dawning,
to see what array of lies
he could serve her this morning.

Oh what an unusual condition,
no longer a sparrow in flight position.

She fell from the place of self-sufficiency,
now, reduced to minimized capabilities.
Oh the shame and humiliation of the fall.

Did anyone see?
Did anyone care?
Anyone at all?

Oh, how can I ever be of use again?
The pain is too great!
Will I ever mend?

Along with hard knocks, self-pity would also call.
Once more to rehearse the trauma,
she was forced to relive the events of the fall.

The other birds whispered -  “She didn’t respond like I thought she should.
I certainly don’t believe she’s done all she could.
She was soaring, just about to peak,
instead, she has disappeared into what seems to be
“a solemn retreat.”

Yes there had been many challenges,
more than a few,
but she always landed on her feet
with the right “solution” of just what to do.

Wounded and sore,
with every breath,
her bones would roar.

With relentless pain, the torment grew.
The other sparrows questioned, judged, and thought they knew…

They only shook their heads, in disbelief,
surely, she is overwhelmed with grief.
Furthermore, they concluded,
I think this time …she’s really through!

The little sparrow cried in the light of sunshine’s day.
She cried in the quiet stillness of the moon’s steady ray.
Isolated by circumstances from her own kind,
the enemy’s reports and fears plagued her mind.

As the business of day would relinquish to the still of the night,
Father Time would tip toe in to touch her brow,
and hold His little sparrow tight.

He would whisper encouragement in her weary ear.
Ever so gently he would transfuse a deeper measure of faith,
and blow afresh on her dreams held dear.

Unbeknownst to her, this exercise was taking her to a higher place,
closer to her Maker, nearer  His face.

Though the battle fierce seemed never ending,
combined with prayers and Angelic attention,
her broken body and spirit was quietly mending.

Only in the process of time, would she again emerge from the dust of despair,
for there was One, the One who knows all,
who was never taken unaware
to the magnitude of the tragic fall.

With a Master’s touch and Craftsman’s skill
He breathed strength into her broken heart,
And, thus, renewed her will.

Her tears now dried she started to sing,
boldly proclaiming!
Her voice once silenced, now began to ring..

"Although my wing had to be replaced...
He has molded me another…
with GREAT…GREAT,
AMAZING,
GRACE!"


           t-t-f-n (ta - ta - for - now)

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Spring Has Sprung...

I may not be able to remember what I had today for lunch, but I can remember what a little boy said to me in the 6th grade that still makes me giggle. "Spring has sprung, the grass has riz.  I wonder where them birdies is??" (Being from the South has its' perks) It has been a never ending Spring time rhyme that comes to visit each year when the buttercups start to peek out from the melting snow, and the worms are playing hide n’ seek with the Robins.

In my lifetime, I have never known life in general to be such a battlefield for myself, and those I love. We have just transitioned through the Easter Season.

For me, Spring is the continuation of the Resurrection Celebration….life blossoming in the deadest of places. Hope springs eternal.

HAPPY SPRING!

                         t-t-f-n- (ta-ta-for-now)

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Café Gethsemane - How Important Is Forgiveness?


True forgiveness is when One may pour out All the contents Of one’s heart, Chaff and grain together Knowing that The greatest of hands Will take and sift it, Keep what is worth keeping And, with a breath of kindness, Blow the rest away. Anonmymous

As the curtain was closing on the final act of His earthly ministry, Jesus was the textbook example of forgiveness – laid open.

The Word declares that Satan had nothing in Him, ZERO, NO DARKNESS and NO LEGAL RIGHTS! UNTIL, at the “Café Gethsemane” when He was served the ornate silver goblet bubbling with “our” judgment. Who was the maitre d? Was it a Principality or Power? Was it Satan himself, the one whose ultimate goal was to destroy Jesus’ and His Father’s credibility?

I believe Satan thought this was his finest hour, and he was dressed fit to kill. Was his attire, a tuxedo complete with white ruffled shirt, red bow tie, matching cumber bun, and of course, black coat and a tail? Now the smells of “Café Gethsemane” not only consisted of the lingering smells of anointing oil used to prepare Jesus’ body for burial fresh from the alabaster box, but now included the hissing, acrid, burning odors of death and Hell.

He, the ‘Accuser of the Brethren,’ this slithering epitome of evil, has now been given the God ordained opportunity to serve Jesus one simple concoction known as “the sins of the world”. The vilest depravity known to man was now being served to this spotless Lamb on a silver platter.

We cannot conceive all the ingredients in this Hellatious recipe. I believe this cup was bottomless. I believe that while Jesus was waging the warfare of faith… He had a vision. I believe there was a video replay of everything He experienced, saw, heard, tasted and smelled on the day He descended into Hell to take captivity captive. I believe He saw each one of us, by name.

This was not a pink lemonade drink cool with fruit flavored ice cubes, or decorated with fruit and mint sprigs, but I believe it was hot with Hell’s furious flames licking up the sides and top of the goblet.

Could it possibly have been the intense heat that ensued from the war between the contents of this cup and Jesus’ virgin lips that increased the intensity of sweat on His sinless, healthy body? From the time of His birth, throughout His ministry, Satan repeatedly ended up with Jesus footprints on his slimy neck. Continuously, Jesus defeated him, and he was forced to maintain his distance and position until his God appointed turn.

Now in this garden that had once been Jesus’ refuge, the mantle for the salvation of all mankind was being placed on His back.

The battle was not the decision to die for a sin filled society. That plan and procedure had been implemented when Jesus conceded at the foundation of the world. But now, the battleground was in his soul, the battle of wills, and the decision still must be determined if His flesh would yield to the will of His Father.

In order for this plan to go as preplanned, Jesus must now submit to his archrival. He must temporarily display defeat and relinquish the crown and the belt. From this point on, it was now a matter of each step He would take fulfilling His own prophecies.

Jesus very last discourse to His Disciples as He was about to ascend, was not a rehearsal of all the great miracles, signs and wonders during His earthly reign. Nor gloating over the fact He would indeed have the last laugh over the cruelty and speculation of the Religious leaders. Neither was it about how He knew that for all eternity, Satan would be eating His dust!

The issue of offences and forgiveness was the last thing on Jesus’ mind as He was ascending. Only because He did not partake of this poisonous bait was He enabled to make this trip.

Not one of the Gospels was inclusive to all of Jesus’ last commandments. Instead, Matthew’s commentary begins with the opening instructional statements and finished in John with the somber reminder that each of His disciples would in fact be faced with identical temptations but would be endued with power to overcome.

Matthew 28:18: “Go therefore and make disciples, baptizing and teaching”. Mark 16:14 –18: “Now if you take up serpents, or drink anything deadly it no longer has any power over you”. Authentication of their ministry by supernatural signs, and this declaration was now mandatory.

**The Gardens: The very first conversation the Accuser ever had with man was in the Garden of Eden to place doubt as to God’s credibility. He has slithered in and out of the Old and New Testaments dragging his accusations along with him. When the Holy Spirit ushered Jesus into the wilderness, the devil was waiting to tempt Him by doubting His own credibility and tempt Him to misuse his power at the wrong place at the wrong time. The greatest temptation was the temptation to save Himself!

The enemy of our souls not only strategically plotted and planned for Jesus’ mere acquaintances to doubt Him, but those who were the most intimate; His friends, family, Disciples, and Religious Leaders. He even had the audacity to follow the one who had paved the way for Jesus ministry, John the Baptist, into his prison cell and whispered into his ear, “Go ahead and ask THE question …he must know…was He the one? In the last minutes of the evangelistic Disciple’s life he was plagued with doubt and fear. Had his ministry been in vain? Had he indeed been deceived?

The turmoil in Jesus’ mind was producing great drops of blood, slowly falling one by one, splattering on Adam’s cursed ground …that same ground that produced the crown of thorns that soon would be placed on His head. Both worlds were watching and waiting as Jesus was fighting the same battles Adam had faced in his garden. The Angels had witnessed defeat in the Garden once before.

Jesus was in the battle for His life, clutching His Father’s, and His own credibility to his drenched chest.

Satan was thrilled at the bloodletting, but all of Heaven had a secret. They knew that a supernatural real estate transaction was taking place. For every drop of blood that fell from the Redeemer’s brow another piece of the Garden experience was being redeemed! So YES, He could encourage, with authority, His Disciples to not fear any deadly thing. He had already bore the full brunt of the poison and knew His blood was the antidote. The Spirit of Truth had prevailed against the “Father of Lies”.

Luke 44 – 53: “that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name”, instructions to tarry in Jerusalem until they would be endued with power, and lastly, implemented the “power of the blessing” by the raising of His hands and declaration by His mouth.

John 20:21- 23: He breathed on the Disciples for them to receive the Holy Spirit, and lastly, gave them the most crucial instructions of their lives….”If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

**He was saying “Boys you are about to experience the identical opportunities lying before you that I have just come through. Your life and service TO Me, and FOR Me will require a supernatural impartation of grace to forgive for what the church is about to do to you. You are about to be offered the opportunity to heap judgment unto yourselves if you drink the deadly cup of bitterness and un-forgiveness served by the “Offense” himself. The ultimate choice will be yours alone.

Biblical history was penning the last chapters of Jesus’ final hours.

At the end of the mock trial, the betrayal by a kiss, the physical and emotional abandonment by all of the significant males in His life (with the exception of John) including the excruciating torture – you would assume there was nothing more for Him to endure. But, never at any point during His short life span of 33 years was Jesus more human and vulnerable than when He faced His last temptation. This time not with His flesh intact, but layed open to the point He no longer resembled any human form.

Satan, now disguised, as a Roman soldier offered him the cup of gall (bitterness) one final time. Jesus refused the bait. Satan’s pressure on Jesus was un-relentless to destroy His and God’s credibility up until His last breath. This was reflected in Jesus bitter cry, “My God why hast thou forsaken Me?”

Jesus said, “IT IS FINISHED!” I came into this world branded an offense, bearing the responsibility to restore “Our” credibility. But I have overcome, and in a matter of hours the victory will be complete.

How often does Jesus have to still make the choice to forgive? Every time you ask Him!

The offended party may argue, how is it really possible to know if you have actually forgiven your enemies? There is no true forgiveness until you bear the same fruit Jesus produced during His time of ministry and betrayal… compassion. Not only was compassion His first fruit, but also the last. The fruit itself outwardly was not any different, but there was a difference…this time it was completely ripe, and mature. The fruit was now large enough for the entire human race, but palatable enough for you and me to partake and not choke.

I believe some of the detailed abuse Jesus experienced while going through the trial was unspeakable and unprintable. Hell’s fury and retaliation were unleashed against this virgin Lamb. With this choice opportunity availed to Satan, the son of perdition, you can be assured he left no stone unturned.

The one thing Jesus was NOT hung up on was self-pity or excuses by what was done to Him!

His last act of compassion and mercy was in the throes of His persecution, while He was strung high and wide. This was to remit the sins of all who had in the past, and in the future, would betray Him. All they needed to do was ask. He had done all the work.

Unforgiveness was the only thing that could have caused Jesus, the Christ, to miss eternity.

                   t-t-f-n (ta - ta - for - now)